To inaugurate this series, I can think of no song more personally appropriate than “The End of the Innocence.” This is where my love for music was truly born.
It was the summer of 1989. I just suffered my first panic attack after my parents convinced me to ride the “parachute ride” at Knotts Berry Farm in Southern California. That event would lead to countless episodes of crippling situational anxiety, which occur to this day. Soon after, I remember going clothes shopping for “back to school,” and hearing a beautiful song with an intriguing piano hook being played from the speakers of that department store. I didn’t comprehend the meaning at the time, but I could tell it was meaningful.
“Remember when the days were long
And rolled beneath a deep blue sky
Didn't have a care in the world
With mommy and daddy standing by”
Growing up in what I will call a “moderately fundamentalist” home, rock music, even Christian rock, was a no-no. Flashback five years prior, my three older brothers and I took an interest in watching the music video show on our local TV station. I know it must’ve been 1984 because both Van Halen’s and The Pointer Sisters’ songs called “Jump” were in the rotation. We all seemed to enjoy it, but my Dad gave us a talk one day about how sinful it was to listen to those songs. Going forward, I carried my Dad’s conviction that this music was wicked and remember throwing a fit a few years later when I rode home from church one day with my oldest brothers while they listened to a secular pop rock station. But something changed that day in the department store. This wasn’t “sex, drugs, and rock & roll.” This was moving. This wasn’t hedonistic or devil-worshiping. This was meaningful music!
“When happily ever after fails
And we've been poisoned by these fairy tales”
While “The End of the Innocence” doesn’t really “rock,” it opened my mind to the possibility that there could be good songs in popular music. I had enjoyed what I grew up with, but this was the first time I had really loved music.
In retrospect, “The End…” was the perfect song to represent what was happening in this moment of my life. As children, we look up to our parents in a way that is unrealistic. We trust their every word. I believed my parents were right in all that they taught me. My parents were right that I was physically safe on the parachute ride. Unfortunately, they were wrong in assuring me that I would be OK. The myth of parental infallibility died that day, and the door was opened to question what I was told.
In Christian tradition, it is often believed that children become accountable for their sins around the age of 12 or 13, and I happened to be 12 when this all took place. The innocence of childhood had been shattered by the effects of a sin-fallen world as experienced through the evil of psychological trauma. In its place was the forming of my own identity, shaped by my upbringing, but differentiated. I was becoming my own person.
“But somewhere back there in the dust
That same small town in each of us”
As I reflect on this time in my life, I do not hold any resentment towards my parents. I could take the uncharitable route and blame them for mistakes they made. I could assume the worst intentions in those areas where we disagree. Or I can recognize that they wanted what is best for me, and made choices they believed were in my best interest. It is in my best interest to step outside my comfort zone. It’s tragic that I was traumatized by something most people would not be bothered by, and they could not have known that was a danger in my case. I also want my son to be brave and try things that are a little scary.
As for the warnings against popular music, I can see the wisdom in that as well, even if I have taken a different approach. I cannot deny that much of popular music is corrupt, and the industry itself promotes all sorts of wickedness for profit. The same is true of the entertainment industry more broadly. The difference between myself and my parents is that the approach they would take towards movies and television, by judging each work individually and finding value in those that have good messages overall, I have also applied to music. Do I find value in an artist’s work, even if I don’t approve of every lyric they have written or everything they say or do away from their music? Often times, yes. It’s OK to judge each work on a case-by-case basis. I don’t have to endorse Don Henley’s politics or personal behavior to be able to say that this song has brought something beautiful into my life, and I am thankful for it!
While my love for “The End of the Innocence” didn’t translate to a love for all things Don Henley, I would very soon after discover “Another Day in Paradise” by Phil Collins. That song would develop into a love for Phil’s music, and especially for Genesis, who would become my favorite band and influence my musical taste more than any other artist.
