Meaningful Music #3: Father of Mine by Everclear

This past Sunday, I celebrated Father’s Day a week early with my dad, and thanked him for being present in my life. Sadly, so many children grow up without their fathers, and their absence is devastating. “Father of Mine” by Everclear is a first person account of the damage inflicted on a child whose “daddy gave me a name, then he walked away.”

Singer Art Alexakis was six years old when his parents divorced. His mother raised him, and he rarely saw his father. He was old enough to remember his father being there as he recalls:

“Take me back to the day

Yeah, when I was still your golden boy

Back before you went away

I remember blue skies, walking the block

I loved it when you held me high, I loved to hear you talk

You would take me to the movie

You would take me to the beach

Take me to a place inside that is so hard to reach”

The song begins with the traumatic moment when he was abandoned.

“You know I just closed my eyes

My whole world disappeared”

In the second verse, Alexakis delivers a scathing rebuke:

“Father of mine 

Tell me, where did you go?

Yeah, you had the world inside your hand

But you did not seem to know

Father of mine

Tell me, what do you see?

When you look back at your wasted life

And you don't see me”

He goes on to describe how hard it was for him to be without his protector:

“I was ten years old doin' all that I could

Wasn't easy for me to be a scared white boy in a black neighborhood”

The ways his father attempted to be a part of his life were grossly insufficient.

“Sometimes you would send me a birthday card with a five dollar bill

Yeah, I never understood you then and I guess I never will”

The third and final verse hits hardest, as Alexakis bares his soul, describing the damage done:

“I will never be safe

I will never be sane

I will always be weird inside

I will always be lame”

Yet, through the pain he has experienced, he has learned for himself what it truly means to be a father. It means being present to protect and guide your child through the years as they grow and face challenges. It means being someone they know will always love them.

“Now I'm a grown man

With a child of my own

And I swear, I'm not gonna let her know

All the pain I have known”

This is what truly makes “Father of Mine” so meaningful. Alexakis could sit with his sorrow and anger and lash out at the world, but he fights back against the evil he endured with a dedication to do what is good out of love for his own child. He desires to do what is right and by expressing this in song, encourages others who have similarly suffered to devote themselves to the responsibility to love and care for their children.

More Meaningful Music:

1. "The End of the Innocence" by Don Henley

2. "Neon Gravestones" by Twenty One Pilots

Meaningful Music #2: Neon Gravestones by Twenty One Pilots

Many songs have been written over the years about struggles with depression or the grief that follows when someone has taken their own life. “Neon Gravestones” stands apart for how it critically evaluates the way our culture treats the subject of “self-deletion.” Tyler Joseph and Josh Dun of alternative rap duo, Twenty One Pilots, call out subtle deception with defiant resistance. 

The Problem

“And my problem?

We glorify those even more when they...”

“We” refers to the leaders of the culture, the influencers, whether that be celebrities or the media. Tyler and Josh are aware that they are highly influential, especially with youth, so they include themselves here. The problem is that, whether intentionally or not, the influencers have collectively glorified suicide. That word, or any of its synonyms, never appears in this song, and that is clearly intentional. As they want to emphasize , they are “just pleading that ‘it’ does not get glorified.”

“Neon gravestones” represent the glamorization of self-inflicted death. They appear beautiful and tempting, but they are a deception. 

“What's my problem?

Don't get it twisted

It's with the people we praise who may have assisted”

This song is not meant to be an indictment of those who have taken their own lives, but rather of those who have communicated that “an earlier grave is an optional way.” 

The Temptation 

“I could give up, and boost up my reputation

I could go out with a bang, they would know my name

They would host and post a celebration”

As a famous musician, Tyler Joseph confesses that it is tempting to truly make a name for himself by taking his own life at the height of his fame. He could be “legendary,” like others before him who have gone that route. If he dies a natural death much later in life, it will go unnoticed by most, and only those who truly love him will care. 

“Promise me this

If I lose to myself

You won't mourn a day

And you'll move onto someone else”

Joseph urges us to not reward him if he should give in to the temptation. It is better that he should be forgotten. The phrase, “lose to myself” is meant to convey that giving in is failure. It is not heroic. It should not be celebrated. While it may be unrealistic to ask his fans to not mourn in such a situation, this can be seen as him wanting an easier way forward. The thought of millions of people mourning for him could feed his pride and be his own “neon gravestone.” If he knew that wouldn’t happen, perhaps he wouldn’t be so strongly tempted. 

Resistance 

“Neon gravestones try to call for my bones

But they won't get them

No, they won't get them”

Joseph is defiant against the cultural pressures. He has decided he will not let the enemy win!

“And could it be true that some could be tempted

To use this mistake as a form of aggression

A form of succession, a form of a weapon

Thinking "I'll teach them, " well, I'm refusing the lesson”

The message communicated by cultural elites is dangerous, and the young are especially vulnerable. Joseph is taking a stand for himself, but also for his listeners, that they will not be deceived. By calling attention to this battle, and by choosing his side, he is empowering others to join him. Together, we will resist the temptation and fight for our own lives and the lives of others, because life itself is worth fighting for!

“Find your grandparents or someone of age

Pay some respects for the path that they paved

To life they were dedicated

Now, that should be celebrated!”

How do we show our defiance? We celebrate life itself in the midst of a culture of death. We choose to live, and we give honor to those who have shown us how to do so. They are the ones we ought to look up to. If we exchange our defeated heroes for those who never stopped fighting, we can likewise learn to fight every temptation to give up and give in. 

Conclusion 

As one of the most influential artists for young people today, it is greatly encouraging that Twenty One Pilots are using their platform to promote positive, life-affirming messages. “Neon Gravestones” is just one of a growing catalog of meaningful songs they have written that are making a difference in people’s lives. More of this, please!

More Meaningful Music:

1. "The End of the Innocence" by Don Henley